Beastie Dan - the other one. He also is an atypical beastie. Large and waddling. He has the unique characteristic of being the most annoying person on the face of everything. His red gross hair has literally given me seizures of disgust. Seizures! Of digust! He floats like duck and stings like a little girl. He also has an albino rat that he calls son. Some sort of genetic mutation...or something.

Here is an example of Beastie Dan. The other day he called Jim Henson, Jim Hanson! Whhaaaaat? How can you screw that UP? And and he said that Jim Henson made Bear in the Big Blue House. That's funny cause I'm pretty sure a rotting corpse can't produce tv. Of course Dan is never wrong. No no not Dan. What a dumbass, eh? Another example, an actual converstation that took place.
Dan: What's this?
Me: I don't know.
Dan: I think it's important. Did you not fill it?
Me: That's not even my handwriting.
Dan: Are you sure?
Me: Yeah I know my handwriting. It looks like yours.
Dan: No I think this is your problem (He actually said "Your problem." Man, fuck you.)
Me: Uh, the date is from July. I wasn't even here.
Dan: Oh.

Then he waddled off. That was a huge waste of time. Luckily, Dan has gone to some converense today so I can actually breathe.
posted by Sadie at 1:23 PM

THE BEASTIES:
Beastie Boss - CH-eryl. Not cheryl like it's spelled and pronouced but CH-eryl as in cherries or choo choo train wreck. She has your atypical beastie features - large and waddling. Her hair is just lovely. All brittle gray and constantly breaking off on my desk. She has bulging eyeballs which makes me wonder if she even has lids or if her parents were fish. You can often spot her in an army and lime green dress with big purple earrings. brrr are you feeling the fear yet? If not then let me just tell you that she can only be described as bipolar.


posted by Sadie at 10:18 AM

Now, I know what you are thinking. Screw you bitch, you don't even KNOW what hell is cause it's MY job. And I agree. Working at McDonald's would be hellish. Laying concrete would be hellish. Typing memos for the man would be hellish. But they are not hell. I have seen hell. It is the Integris (for Integrity. satan wears many faces) Baptist (no the irony of the Baptists running hell is not lost on me) Medical (yeah sure) Center (as in the pit of hell) in Oklahoma City. In this building I work on the first floor past the elevators down the second hallway in a small torture chamber call the Wann Langston Memorial Library (he probably croaked in this very room). What makes my job torturous isn't really the work. I mean, come on how hard can working in a library be? But this is a library in hell and it is run by two strains of human called...the Beasties.


posted by Sadie at 10:09 AM

It's true. I work in Hell.
posted by Sadie at 10:05 AM